Facebook Negotiation Continues

Until such time as I agree to a confidentiality clause, I thought I'd post the latest back and forth between myself and Facebook's lawyers. I asked for attny fees and they've refused. They're also attempting to prevent me - and my heirs(as if I'll ever have any)- from ever discussing or even negatively referring to Facebook for infinity under penalty of 10k fine plus further legal ramifications and damages. lmao.

On Nov 4, 2011, at 6:43 PM, xxx wrote:

Hi David,

Our response to your counteroffer is attached. As you'll see, Facebook is not willing to agree to any of the additional terms you propose. Please let me know if you want to discuss this via telephone.

Regards,

Ryan (lead counsel)


Hi, Ryan:

Thanks for getting back.

First of all, the 1.00 in damages was the suit I began on my own behalf to call Facebook out on their ridiculous and unquestionably hypocritical policies and procedures when it comes to spamming/Friend Requesting. And I stand by that amount, as I do not need, nor want the money. (I'm not even going to dignify the 'questioning my motives' line with a response.)

Once the suit was made public, and I received several hundred emails from people across the country informing me of their similarly frustrating and hair pulling experiences with the 'Brickwall' that is Facebook "User Support" - be it anything from 'forced admission of guilt' to bigger problems like information sharing, credit card fraud, and Internet predators- is when it dawned on me that these problems are much bigger than my ability to Friend Request someone, and could potentially turn into a much larger issue involving privacy issues, a users legal rights to a fair defense, and a class action suit.

It was based on these developments that the attorneys in California have said they would be interested in being a part of, and one which, if necessary, I am prepared to pursue in order to bring to light the fact that our lawmakers are currently leaving the largest information sharing entity the world has ever seen virtually unregulated with regard to its moral and legal accountability toward its users.

Thus, for the past few months, I have not been viewing this as a "one-dollar" suit. I have been viewing it on a much larger scale, potentially involving many more people who have been railroaded by Facebook's Orwellian business model.

Having said that, here's where I came up with the counter offer.

1. I don't believe you and I ever discussed financial anything. If we did I apologize, but that's what I get for agreeing to several months in extensions.

2. It obviously would cost Facebook many more thousands of dollars to defend a class action suit; not to mention the bad publicity. That's a no-brainer. Therefore, I thought I'd at least ask for my attorney fees to be covered. Didn't think it was a 'deal-breaker'.

3. I'm not saying I'm changing my mind, but I think you'll agree that when it comes down to it, this 'settlement' is incredibly one-sided.

I'm agreeing to dismiss all current and future claims, to agree not to talk about it, and agreeing to wave any value my suggestions would have should they be implemented and successful; all in exchange for a phone call.

Thus, I thought I'd ask for some kind of tangible compensation that would have provided me with some sort of remedy for the abuse I've endured simply taking Facebook up on their own suggestions, and one that wouldn't necessarily affect them monetarily - i.e. ad credits. (I could've asked for a million dollars in ad credits and all it is to them is a quarter inch of space.)

3. I understand Facebook is not willing to guarantee that any changes I suggest will be implemented- that I can live with. What I can't live with, and what I was completely offended by when I looked at the agreement, is not only would I be giving up the ship in exchange for a simple discussion, but it's entirely possible I could end up the defendant if I slip in conversation at a cocktail party ten years from now.

Furthermore, you are attempting to legally bind me from so much as 'thinking' a negative thought about Facebook with the threat of financial and legal recourse. That is unacceptable. I would agree to a time limit of one year from the conversation on the gag order but nothing more.

You can remove the financial incentives if you like. I don't care. But I would rather go to court for the next five years and fight the information gathering policies myself and countless other users find irresponsible, immoral, and a clear violation of our rights, rather than agree to a gag order for the rest of my life under those penalties.

Regardless of whatever they/you decide, the fact that all this hoopla has to occur just to try and get Facebook to do the right thing by their users, and create some kind of system of dialogue, is pretty sad in itself. It's the stuff revolutions are made of.

Let me know your thoughts,

David

So, Tsu Me: Why Facebook is Terrified of This Virtually Unknown Competitor and What It Could Mean For the Future of the Internet

Let's 'Face' it. In today's tech landscape, there's no bigger dog on the block than Facebook. "King Mark" has built an empire so rich and so vast that if he thinks your little startup is going to cause him problems, he simply buys you out for more money than you, or your grandkids, or their grandkids, will ever need. Problem solved.

But, what if you're not for sale? What in the world does King Mark do if you have something really great, that has millions of users around the globe buzzing about its potential as being a "game-changer," and he can't have it? Simple. He blocks you.

Being blocked from Facebook in this day and age is the equivalent of being kicked off AT&T in the mid 70s. Which, if it happened, could create some problems.

What would you do if Facebook banished you tomorrow? How would you let the world know you were being blocked? You can't post it on Facebook. You can't do it on Instagram, either, as Facebook owns that, too. Forget about tweeting it. You're attempt at alerting the world to your plight will be buried in a second by 38,000 Kardashian retweets.

Facebook is the primary source of communication for over 1.5 billion people. So, the simple act of preventing its users from linking to anything having to do with your site will all but ensure your continuing anonymity.

However, if you're the founder of a startup site that currently ranks 11,372nd in popularity in the U.S., you'd think you're good, right? Wrong.

That's exactly what's happening to over 4.5 million users of Tsu.co - a Facebook with a conscience , whose founders believe users should be compensated for the content they create. That's so important, it's worth mentioning twice. Users should be compensated for the content they create.

This content/revenue stream comes from not only your page but from your network of users, i.e., friends you've invited to join and friends they've invited.

Think about all friends you told to join Facebook at the beginning. The posts you've shared, all the pages you've liked, and all the groups you've joined/started since creating your Facebook profile. Now, imagine how much revenue you've generated for Facebook. Now imagine how much you could have generated for yourself. Revenue that, with just a click of a mouse on Tsu, could be shared with the charity of your choice. No personal bank info needed.

I'm not going to get into a detailed explanation of the site's revenue model - there are dozens of pieces on Tsu's founder, Sebastian Sobczak, explaining how simply posting a link on the site can turn into dollars - except to say, think of Tsu as the social media version of Uber - just the business model, not the backlash. The site keeps 10% of ad revenue (which is derived through third party ads, partnerships and sponsors) and shares the other 90% with its users. Pretty neat, huh? That's just the tip of the iceberg.

Tsu's popularity is growing at quite an impressive pace. It registered over 3.5 million users in its first 6 months. Faster than both Facebook and Twitter. If that's not enough, due to its philanthropic mission statement, in just its first year, Tsu was chosen as the Media Partner of the Year by the Make A Wish Foundation.

To put it simply, according to Tsu's FAQ's page:
"Users should be compensated for their likeness, image and content. It's simple and it's the right thing to do."

I know a lot of musicians, artists, photographers, comedians, etc., who would probably agree. In fact, there are folks earning more from posting on Tsu than they do from their music streams.

Other areas where Tsu is taking Facebook on include:
Likes: On Facebook, if you currently have a million 'likes,' only a fraction of those people can see your posts, as Facebook wants to entice you to "Boost" it by paying for it. Whereas, on Tsu, all your posts are visible to all who like your page.

Groups: On Tsu, companies like Disney will be able to use their over 50 million followers to generate money for charity, as the site will automatically donate 5% to a charity of the group's choosing. Nothing like that at the moment on Facebook.

Search Bar/Analytics One thing Facebook has sorely been missing is a search bar to quickly locate a piece you or your friend may have posted, without having to constantly hit the scroll bar. Tsu's platform has this, as well as detailed analytics on how many views your posts have received.

Data Sharing: It's no secret anymore that Facebook willfully shares your data with every company under the sun. From Comcast to Chase, your browsing habits and web searches are tracked and monitored in perpetuity, which tilts the odds heavily in favor of any Facebook partner you may need to do business with, i.e. bank loans, mortgage rates, etc.

Compensating users for their content? Giving a percentage to charity? All this "crazy talk" is apparently starting to spook Facebook to the point where, over the past few weeks, links to anything mentioning the site, including pics containing only text, have been inexplicably erased from millions of Facebook's user's profiles.

Of course, Facebook is claiming Tsu is violating the terms of their API, a platform to platform sharing agreement, but according to Mr. Sobczak, it's just an excuse to attempt to legally justify the removal and subsequent blocking of the site from Facebook and its users. "If we are violating any type of technical or legal boundaries regarding Facebook's API, which we are not, we would see warnings on our dashboard - which we've never seen -, not to mention, we continue to receive messages that we are in compliance, all while we are being blocked," he says. "We've even been deleted from Facebook Messenger and we don't even integrate with that app."

Facebook isn't discriminating, either. According to Sobczak, they've deleted every mention of Tsu from 50 Cent's Facebook page with 38 million followers, as well as over 7,000 works of art posted by breast cancer survivor A Dog a Day. "These are independent posts shared by Facebook users without using an API and have nothing to do with Tsu," he says.

When I tried linking to Tsu on Facebook, I immediately got a warning saying it was an "unsafe link."

Meanwhile, it's still no problem to post links to most porn sites.

"Sharing a link to Tsu is no different than sharing a link to YouTube, the Huffington Post, Twitter, etc., yet, for some reason, we're being singled out as violators," states Sobczak. "It's a clear case of censorship."

As small as they are at the moment, 4 million users compared to 1.5 billion, Tsu's business model of sharing revenue with its users is impossible for Facebook to duplicate even if they wanted to, as it's now a publicly traded company.

Can you imagine Mark Zuckerberg at the next shareholders meeting telling his investors he's decided to give 90% of Facebook's ad revenue to its users? Sounds like something out of a Cohen brother's movie.

Google's currently under anti-trust investigation for allegedly attempting to block competitors from accessing Android, and way back Microsoft became the first online anti-trust casualty when it tried to shut the door on Netscape.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to read between the lines here. Blockbuster was the big dog on the block for decades before Netflix came along. It's almost unimaginable at the moment to think that people would abandon Facebook with the idea of switching to a more user-friendly, and user-protective site. But it wasn't too long ago folks thought Myspace was the end-all-be-all of the social media landscape.

Before you go running to Tsu.co in an attempt to sign up, be aware that the site is by invite only. This will hopefully keep most of the yokels off, as well as making each ad placement in the U.S. more valuable to overseas advertisers, thus, generating more revenue for the content creator.

When you compare Facebook to Tsu, it definitely appears as if Facebook is The Matrix, and Tsu is Neo.

Not that Facebook doesn't have a boat to weather the coming storm, but, if they're not prepared, they'd be hard-pressed to survive a Tsunami.

P.S. Since I can't post a link on Facebook requesting that you "Follow me on Tsu!" you can do it Here

NRA/Disney Announce Unlikely Partnership with Mickey's Mass-Shooting Sweepstakes

In the wake of one mass-shooting after the next, and with no sign of congressional legislation anywhere in sight, Disney and the NRA, two very unlikely partners, have decided to join forces to capitalize on what is now a weekly occurrence.

"While we, as people, are obviously saddened by the senseless loss of life that occurs as a direct result one of these tragic events, as a company, we are in the business of turning a profit. And the opportunity to seize upon what seems to be a growing American phenomenon, should not go unexploited," says Randy Post, Disney's Chief Marketing Officer.

"The NRA is an organization made up of families just like you and me. Our members and their kids love Mickey Mouse almost as much as carrying a fully-loaded AK-47 into a maternity ward. Considering the random nature of these attacks, and the potential to raise awareness for our latest campaign - the Importance of Arming Children in Schools - we see it as a win-win," states NRA Chairman, Madeleine Freeman.

According to the joint press release, after a simple online registration, the nearly 5 million members of the NRA will have the opportunity to try and predict where the next mass-shooting will occur. Only one guess per week, per member, is allowed.

Winners will receive free tickets to Disney premieres, discounts on travel and accommodations, and V.I.P. admission to Disney's newest attraction Mickey Goes Mental - a new ride in which park goers, armed with laser tag guns, try to stop an over-worked/under-paid Mickey from going ballistic and shooting everyone in the park. The controversial exhibit is scheduled to open at Disney World, October, 2014.

NFL Cheerleaders Need to Get a Clue

I'm as much against sexual discrimination -- or any kind of discrimination for that matter -- as the next guy. But, when news surfaced that Buffalo Bills cheerleader "Alyssa U." and her co-workers are suing the organization for "sexual objectification," the only thing I could think was, "WTF?!" Are they serious?

Let's be real here, folks; A cheerleader suing a football team for sexual objectification is like a comedian suing a comedy club for expecting laughs.

Newsflash, sweetie: You're a C-h-e-e-r-l-e-a-d-e-r. You get paid to look good. And, guess what? In order to be considered good-looking, your looks have to play a big part. I mean, what did you expect? To be picked for the squad, then be able to binge on Oreo's and Krispy Kreme's and still have a job? If you're that upset about the fact that you get judged on how well-toned parts of your body are, perhaps cheerleading is the wrong field for you?

If you choose to spend your days jumping around in skin tight outfits, being ogled at by thousands of fans, hanging out around professional athletes, and being on T.V. and on a million guys' screensavers, then a "Jiggle Test" is par for the course, hun.

And, call me crazy, but I think a straight-forward, sterile evaluation of your looks on a spreadsheet is much more beneficial for everyone involved. Imagine the uncomfortable conversation a squad leader would have to have with each girl as she delicately tries to hint at the fact that her under arms swish around like a lava lamp? This way, it's completely clear and to the point, with no emotion or personal b.s. getting in the way.

Personally, if I was you, in this line of work, I'd consider an I.Q. test to be discriminatory. As it has nothing to do with how well you can do your job.

Had these girls come forward with stories of Jiggle Tests from the halls of IBM or Microsoft, then they'd have something. If they accused their bosses of turning the workplace into a scene right out of MadMen, with fifty "Don Drapers" in each dept. demanding they jump around their offices in order to keep their receptionist jobs, then they'd have my full support.

And, let's not even talk about the allegations of the demeaning treatment at "Golf Outings," as anyone who's ever been to a high profile, expensive golf event knows, there's booze tents at every hole - each of which is staffed by pretty girls in tight shorts trying to get you to buy their company's alcohol. And with a couple of hundred intoxicated, rowdy guys and their buddies regressing back to high school behavior, it's a miracle no liquor girl has ever reported being thrown in the back of a golf cart and driven into the woods.

Obviously, no one is condoning rude, obnoxious, or illegal behavior, but if, on your resume, you list "hot chick" as a previous position, then you should know exactly what to expect. If you don't believe me, call any stand-up comic and ask them about the "Giggle Test."

Did Hoboken's Mayor Zimmer Hold Back Christie Allegations Due to Upcoming Election?

Due to the impeccable timing of Hoboken's mayor, Dawn Zimmer, coming forward with allegations of political extortion against an already embattled gov. Christie, her integrity is now under scrutiny by state and local republicans alike. But, her motives are also being questioned by fellow democrats. Like Hoboken councilwoman Beth Mason, who, while losing to Zimmer in two previous elections, does seem to have a point.

I'll be the first to admit I'm no fan of Mayor Zimmer. While she may have built a few more parks, the streets of Hoboken are arguably some of the worst in the country (imagine driving your car on the moon), the tow trucks and traffic cops patrol the streets 24/7 like the bureaucratic Walking Dead, and there's so much construction going on all around you, day-in-day-out, it's like living in post-war Iraq.

Having said that, I, personally, have no issue with the mayor's credibility as to whether she's telling the truth or not. I, for one, think she is. However, it can't be ignored that the reason she kept her mouth shut for the better part of last year was most likely due to the upcoming election.

Is there any other plausible explanation as to why someone apparently so dedicated to "truth and justice" waited almost a year to go public with a story about political bullying? Especially during a time when the entire nation was grieving for her town? If she had come forward last May, the entire world would have probably embraced her. But, that didn't happen. Instead, she kept the alleged threats to herself and said nothing, apparently letting everyone in town think we were getting all the aid we needed with little, if any, resistance.

To me, the only unbelievable part of her story is that she feared no one would believe her. Hogwash.

Mayor Zimmer is no political rookie. She knows exactly what she's doing. To the point, it's been contended by many residents up on local politics that the only reason Tim Occhipinti entered the 2013 mayoral race late - completely aware of the fact he had virtually no chance of winning - was at the behest of a Zimmer loyalist who allegedly promised favors in exchange for Occhipinti's "watering-down" of the votes for her biggest opponent, Ruben Ramos.

Whether or not that's true at this point is history. But it does give one pause to think if the mayor, who, on the outside claims she's committed to doing what's best for her city, in fact, did hold back from exposing the governor for her own political gain, she would be guilty of a diabolically negligent move, equivalent to a Katrina-sized cover-up. And, if you think about it, if the traffic scandal didn't come out, when, exactly, was she planning on coming forward?

A Bridget Too Far: Gov. Christie's "Bridgewatergate" Scandal Reveals Actual Traffic Study

Emails released through subpoena today by New Jersey Assembly Deputy Speaker and Transportation Committee Chair John Wisniewski prove, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that the top aide in Gov. Christie's administration, Bridget Anne Kelly conspired w/ now ousted Port Authority exec. David Wildstein to intentionally screw the city, the commuters and the mayor of Fort Lee - Democrat Mark Sokolich - for his refusal to support Gov. Christie in his reelection campaign.

However, the interesting thing here, is that emails have also surfaced proving there indeed was a traffic study going on.

Wildstein said the study being conducted at the time was "...to see exactly what it would take for a suburban mother of three to exit her minivan, ignore the welfare of her children, and put her fist through the windshield of the car in front of her. That was wrong of us but it was purely in the name of science."

Further details show the study was monitoring the overall effects of traffic on the human psyche. Turns out, people don't like it.

During the hearings in Trenton this week, Mayor Sokolich, wearing a wire, apparently taped two older gentlemen in the men's room discussing the situation. Their conversation was released to the Huffington Post exclusively:

MAN #1: "Pay up, Mortimer I've won the bet."

MAN #2: "Here. One Dollar."

MAN #1: "We took a megalomaniacal, bullying would-be presidential candidate and turned him into a back-tracking, double-talking hypocrite, and, at the same time, we took honest, hard-working commuters and turned them into violently deranged would-be killers. By the way, where is Beaks?"

Unknown to most following this shocking scandal, is that statistics also show that during the 5-day traffic nightmare, online gambling in the Fort Lee area shot up 1000%.

The situation has caused such an uproar, working-man's musician John Mellencamp is reportedly working a single to raise money for the victims of Fort Lee.

"The Port Authority Song" is scheduled for release Feb. 15.

Lyrics include: "I fight Port Authority, Port Authority always wins. When I fight Port Authority, Port Authority always wins."

If nothing else, at least the discovery of these emails will finally allow the N.J. State Assembly to get to the "Big" bottom of this.

Daily Show - Racist Irish Tweet Chat w/ Jessica Williams

Racist Tweet Link

CHAT SAMPLE: TEA PARTY LEADER’S RACIST TWEET CHAT W/ JESSICA WILLIAMS


{***JON***}
FOR MORE WE'RE JOINED BY IRISH-AMERICAN HISTORY EXPERT JESSICA WILLIAMS. WELCOME JESSICA.

{***JESSICA***}
THANKS JON. AS YOU CAN PROBABLY TELL, I’M NOT TOO HAPPY RIGHT NOW.

{***JON***}
I CAN’T IMAGINE. THAT WOMAN’S TWEET WAS SO OFFENSIVE. WHAT YOU MUST BE FEELING RIGHT NOW IS… INDESCRIBABLE.

{***JESSICA***}
THE FACT THAT SOMEONE WOULD COME OUT AND SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT IN PUBLIC -ESPECIALLY A PROMINENT MEMBER OF A POLITICAL PARTY- AND MISREPRESENT AN ENTIRE PEOPLE’S SET OF BELIEFS IS DISAPPOINTING TO SAY THE LEAST. AS AN IRISH-AMERICAN, I IN NO WAY CONDONE WHAT SHE SAID.

{***JON***}
UH, IRISH?

{***JESSICA***}
YES, JON. FULL BLOODED IRISH. BIG FAN OF THE SOAP, ST. PATRICK’S DAY, LEPRECHAUNS. ANYWAY, I’D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE BECAUSE TO THINK TH-

{***JON***}
-I’M SORRY, JESSICA.

{***JESSICA***}
YES, JON?

{***JON***}
I JUST HAVE TO ASK. HOW DID SOMEONE LIKE YOURSELF END UP… IRISH?


{***JESSICA***}
OH! (LAUGHS) YOU MEAN BECAUSE OF MY BROWN EYES? MY GRANDFATHER ON MY MOTHER’S SIDE COMES FROM BELFAST AND HAS THE DEEPEST, DARKEST EYES YOU’VE EVER SEEN! ANYWAY –

{***JON***}
UH, JESSICA?

{***JESSICA***} (GETTING MAD) YESSS, JON???

{***JON***} (CLEARLY UNCOMFORTABLE) I GATHER THEN, THAT YOU’RE, UH, “BLACK” IRISH?

{***JESSICA***}
WE PREFER “MAGICALLY DELICIOUS AMERICANS.”

{***JON***}
COME ON. YOU’RE BEING RIDICULOUS.

{***JESSICA***}
I’M WHAT?

{***JON***}
– NEVERMIND. ANYWAY, I WASN’T TALKING ABOUT YOUR EYES.

{***JESSICA***}
YOU WEREN’T?

{***JON***}
NO.

{***JESSICA***}
THEN, WHAT ARE YOU REFERRING TO JON?

{***JON***}
WELL, FIRST OF ALL, I HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE AN EXPERT ON IRISH AMERICAN HISTORY. I’M SORRY, BUT THAT’S JUST BIZARRE.

{***JESSICA***}
WHY IS THAT BIZARRE, JON?

{***JON***}
WELL, IT’S NOT EVERYDAY YOU-

{***JESSICA***}
YES?

{***JON***}
IT’S NOT EVERYDAY YOU SEE A… A…

{***JESSICA***}
A WHAT? GO AHEAD AND SAY IT, ALREADY, JON. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

{***JON***}
I-

{***JESSICA***}
-IT’S NOT EVERYDAY YOU SEE A WOMAN WITH A DEGREE IN IRISH AMERICAN HISTORY?! IS THAT IT?! THAT’S IT, ISN’T IT, JON?!

{***JON***}
WHAT?! I –

{***JESSICA***}
IT’S OKAY. YOU CAN ADMIT IT. MY JOURNALISTIC PROWESS INTIMDATES YOU BECAUSE I’M A WOMAN.

{***JON***}
WAIT A-

{***JESSICA***}
YOU KNOW, JON, WAY BACK WHEN I FIRST TOOK THIS JOB, I HEARD RUMORS ABOUT YOUR CAVALIER ATTITUDE TOWARDS THE FEMALES ON THE SHOW. YOUR LATE NIGHT “INTERN PARTIES,” YOUR CHAUVANISTIC BEHAVIOR AND OPINIONS. YOU THINK JOHN OLIVER LEFT TO DO “COMMUNITY”? HA! THAT’S WHAT HE WANTED YOU TO THINK. TRUTH IS, HE LEFT IN PROTEST TO YOUR TREATMENT OF WOMEN! (TAKES A SWIG FROM A FLASK)

{***JON***}
WHAT?! WAIT A MINUTE WHAT WAS THAT?

{***JESSICA***}
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF HUH? (TAUNTING) DO I MAKE YOU NERVOUS, JON?

{***JON***}
(NERVOUS) OF COURSE NOT. WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME NERVOUS?

{***JESSICA***}
I DON’T KNOW. MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE SCARED ONE DAY A WOMAN MAY BE SITTING WHERE YOU SIT. MAYBE A PROUD IRISH WOMAN –WHOSE ANCESTORS STRUGGLED FROM THE DEPTHS OF IRISH SLAVERY, LONG BEFORE THE BLACKS CAME ALONG, WITH THE HOPE THAT MAYBE, ONE DAY, WE WOULD BE TREATED EQUALLY. AND, 550 YEARS LATER, HAVE WE EVER SAID A WORD IN PROTEST AS TO THE ATROCITIES COMMITTED AGAINST US? (TAKES A SWIG)

{***JON***}
ATROCITIES?! WHAT ATROCITIES? ARE YOU CARRYING A FLASK?

{***JESSICA***}
HOW QUICKLY WE FORGET. DID YOU KNOW OKLAHOMA WAS ORIGINALLY SETTLED BY THE IRISH.

{***JON***}
IT WAS?

{***JESSICA***}
THAT’S RIGHT. DID YOU KNOW UP UNTIL 1950 IT WAS SPELLED LIKE THIS: (OS: “O’ KLAHOMA) BUT IT WAS TOO IRISH-LOOKING SO THEY CHANGED IT.

{***JON***}
WOW.

{***JESSICA***}
IT’S CALLED EDUCATION, JON TRY IT SOME TIME. AND THE BIGGEST FAST FOOD CHAIN IN THE WORLD … (OS: “MICK O’ DONALDS”) THAT’S HOW IT STARTED. AND WHO CAN FORGET THE DEGREDATION AND HUMILIATION OF OUR WORST NATIONAL TRAGEDY, THE IRISH POTATO FAMINE. YOUR PEOPLE TOOK IT AND MADE IT A LAUGHING STOCK.

(OS: MR POTATO HEAD)

{***JON***}
I’M SORRY. I HAD NO IDEA. I LOVE MR. POTATO HEAD.

{***JESSICA***}
EXACTLY. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF WE HAD “MR. HOLOCAUST HEAD” IN IRELAND?

{***JON***}
POINT TAKEN.

{***JESSICA***}
YOU DISGUST ME, JON. I NEED A GUINNESS. (DROPS MIC AND EXITS)

{***JON***}
UH, THANK YOU JESSICA. JESSICA WILLIAMS, EVERYONE.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.