Now that they've been rescued from the brink of certain disaster, the first order of business for Greece's finance ministers, is to begin figuring out ways to pay off the astronomical debt that will accrue as a direct result of the Eurozone bailout. While the plan is being hailed as a good short-term remedy, a loan of this size, and the interest accrued, will no doubt, saddle the Grecian people with near insurmountable financial hurdles in the years to come.
To ease a bit of the strain, the move most everyone in Athens seems to be applauding, is the plan to turn the story of their country's economic collapse into a musical, appropriately titled, "Greece! The Musical," and which, if sources are correct, will be written and directed by B'way legend, Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber. Webber has reportedly already agreed to pen the story, which, according to one source, centers around a group of Greek teenagers in the fifties who end up causing a global financial meltdown.
"The idea behind the project, is that a hit Broadway musical, and its potential for sequels, spin-offs, and national tours, will bring a constant stream of revenue into our severely ailing nation, no matter the condition of the world's economy," explained Greece's chief economist, Danielo Zukopolis.
Webber said in an email, "I'm delighted to put my talents to use helping this stoically beautiful country, and its people, reclaim some of their dignity." Webber volunteered that, before settling on the current, simplified title of the production, there were a few they opted not to go with; such as, Greece! Turn Off the Snark,- Greece! The Book of Morons, - and, Greece! Trillion Dollar Quartet.
Songs Webber has already written since lunch include, Hopelessly Indebted to You, Look at Me I'm Sandra Default, Business School Dropout, Freddy Mac- My Love, Greased Palmin', and Born to Hand Outs.
D.C. powerhouse, the Brunswick Group, have been brought on to handle the PR, and rumor has it, their first order of business is to persuade Greek president, Karolos Papoulias, to adopt the musical's cheerful spelling as his country's permanent moniker. When asked to comment, Rory Flanders, Brunswick's V.P. of communications, stated, "People are feta up. We need these guys to understand the damage they did to their country's credibility - and, as soon as we find someone who can speak Greek, we will tell them that. They need to recognize the psychological effect changing the country's negative-sounding name to something more upbeat and positive will have, in how they are perceived by the rest of the world. "Greece," just won't cut it anymore. It has 'failure' written all over it. However, "Greece!" has a totally different ring to it. Nothing says "We're Happy! Everything's fine!" like a couple of good 'ole exclamation points. Combine that with a fancy logo, and you're halfway home. This new, positive direction would be exactly what the world financial markets need to relax and begin trusting them again. And a hit Broadway show never hurts, either. I mean, either!"
Whether it works or not, you have to give them credit for trying. And, aside from that being the only type of credit they're good for at the moment, let's not forget, putting on an original musical, in this day and age, requires an "exzorbatant" amount of time and energy. For what it's worth, let's hope, going forward, this seemingly rejuvenated version of "Greece 2" is more successful than the film of the same name.
"Greece!" The Musical, is preparing for a March 2013 opening at the Sherbert Theatre.