Tuesday, November 20, 2012

No Matter What, Sesame Street Will Never Dump Elmo


If I learned one thing from my days as a production assistant on Sesame Street, it's this:

Elmo runs the place.

Period. End of story. Sure, there are "exec. producers'" and "co-exec. producers," and "CEOs" of the Sesame Workshop (Sesame St.'s parent co.), etc., etc., but, make no mistake, that little red monster is King.

Remember that bratty kid from the Twilight Zone episode who all the adults are afraid of because he has the power to wish them away?

That's Elmo. Or, more to the point, that's Kevin Clash.

So, when you read in the press, Clash has been "reprimanded," or "disciplined," or " is in danger of being fired," take it with a pillar of salt. Because, even in the midst of an underage sex scandal, the brass upstairs know exactly who's driving this gravy train, and has been for the past 25 years. And, it ain't about to slow down now.

Not to mention, if and when the train does come to a stop, it'll take more than a flip-flopping, fairly unstable-looking, wannabe male model with a nice sized rap sheet and weird blue eyes to derail it. And, the reason is obvious.

In this day and age, the only thing that matters is the greeeeeen. And, when it comes to bringing home the bacon, there's no character in the nearly 45 year history of the show who's made as much of the green stuff for Sesame Street as Elmo. Not Big Bird. Not Ernie. No one.

Thus, ultimately, no matter how much tap dancing they'll have to do if he's proven guilty to explain why he's back, you can bet they're already practicing their jazz hands - just in case. Because, when all is said and done, no executive producer wants to be responsible for killing that big of a cash cow; especially not since Sesame Street's episodes have been cut from over 100, just a decade ago, to less than 30 this year. No, sir.

A little, juicy sex scandal may be enough to bring down the likes of a Pee Wee Herman, but, as big as he was at the time of his unfortunate moment, Pee Wee couldn't touch Elmo.

Elmo is arguably the biggest star in the world; marketed in 100 countries, his voice translated into 100 languages, and his talking dolls create fistfights among parents desperate to make sure their kid gets the last one at Xmas time.

It would take a scandal on par with O.J. before Sesame would seriously consider replacing the one guy responsible for all that. After all, there were other puppeteers who tried doing Elmo before Clash, and not one of them succeeded. It was Clash's raw talent as, not only a puppeteer, but also a voice and character actor, that gave Elmo life and made him the superstar he is today.

So, talk to me when Clash is found hovering over the dead bodies of his relatives with a bloody knife in his hand and kiddie porn all over his computer. Then, maybe, we'd be talking early retirement.

No doubt, this thing is a huge embarrassment for Clash, but he and Elmo are going to make it through just fine. Of course, now that he was forced to come out of the closet, he's going to have to endure the multitude of bad jokes that accompany a scandal such as this.

Right, Pee Wee?

No comments:

Post a Comment