Daily Show - Racist Irish Tweet Chat w/ Jessica Williams

Racist Tweet Link

CHAT SAMPLE: TEA PARTY LEADER’S RACIST TWEET CHAT W/ JESSICA WILLIAMS


{***JON***}
FOR MORE WE'RE JOINED BY IRISH-AMERICAN HISTORY EXPERT JESSICA WILLIAMS. WELCOME JESSICA.

{***JESSICA***}
THANKS JON. AS YOU CAN PROBABLY TELL, I’M NOT TOO HAPPY RIGHT NOW.

{***JON***}
I CAN’T IMAGINE. THAT WOMAN’S TWEET WAS SO OFFENSIVE. WHAT YOU MUST BE FEELING RIGHT NOW IS… INDESCRIBABLE.

{***JESSICA***}
THE FACT THAT SOMEONE WOULD COME OUT AND SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT IN PUBLIC -ESPECIALLY A PROMINENT MEMBER OF A POLITICAL PARTY- AND MISREPRESENT AN ENTIRE PEOPLE’S SET OF BELIEFS IS DISAPPOINTING TO SAY THE LEAST. AS AN IRISH-AMERICAN, I IN NO WAY CONDONE WHAT SHE SAID.

{***JON***}
UH, IRISH?

{***JESSICA***}
YES, JON. FULL BLOODED IRISH. BIG FAN OF THE SOAP, ST. PATRICK’S DAY, LEPRECHAUNS. ANYWAY, I’D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE BECAUSE TO THINK TH-

{***JON***}
-I’M SORRY, JESSICA.

{***JESSICA***}
YES, JON?

{***JON***}
I JUST HAVE TO ASK. HOW DID SOMEONE LIKE YOURSELF END UP… IRISH?


{***JESSICA***}
OH! (LAUGHS) YOU MEAN BECAUSE OF MY BROWN EYES? MY GRANDFATHER ON MY MOTHER’S SIDE COMES FROM BELFAST AND HAS THE DEEPEST, DARKEST EYES YOU’VE EVER SEEN! ANYWAY –

{***JON***}
UH, JESSICA?

{***JESSICA***} (GETTING MAD) YESSS, JON???

{***JON***} (CLEARLY UNCOMFORTABLE) I GATHER THEN, THAT YOU’RE, UH, “BLACK” IRISH?

{***JESSICA***}
WE PREFER “MAGICALLY DELICIOUS AMERICANS.”

{***JON***}
COME ON. YOU’RE BEING RIDICULOUS.

{***JESSICA***}
I’M WHAT?

{***JON***}
– NEVERMIND. ANYWAY, I WASN’T TALKING ABOUT YOUR EYES.

{***JESSICA***}
YOU WEREN’T?

{***JON***}
NO.

{***JESSICA***}
THEN, WHAT ARE YOU REFERRING TO JON?

{***JON***}
WELL, FIRST OF ALL, I HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE AN EXPERT ON IRISH AMERICAN HISTORY. I’M SORRY, BUT THAT’S JUST BIZARRE.

{***JESSICA***}
WHY IS THAT BIZARRE, JON?

{***JON***}
WELL, IT’S NOT EVERYDAY YOU-

{***JESSICA***}
YES?

{***JON***}
IT’S NOT EVERYDAY YOU SEE A… A…

{***JESSICA***}
A WHAT? GO AHEAD AND SAY IT, ALREADY, JON. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

{***JON***}
I-

{***JESSICA***}
-IT’S NOT EVERYDAY YOU SEE A WOMAN WITH A DEGREE IN IRISH AMERICAN HISTORY?! IS THAT IT?! THAT’S IT, ISN’T IT, JON?!

{***JON***}
WHAT?! I –

{***JESSICA***}
IT’S OKAY. YOU CAN ADMIT IT. MY JOURNALISTIC PROWESS INTIMDATES YOU BECAUSE I’M A WOMAN.

{***JON***}
WAIT A-

{***JESSICA***}
YOU KNOW, JON, WAY BACK WHEN I FIRST TOOK THIS JOB, I HEARD RUMORS ABOUT YOUR CAVALIER ATTITUDE TOWARDS THE FEMALES ON THE SHOW. YOUR LATE NIGHT “INTERN PARTIES,” YOUR CHAUVANISTIC BEHAVIOR AND OPINIONS. YOU THINK JOHN OLIVER LEFT TO DO “COMMUNITY”? HA! THAT’S WHAT HE WANTED YOU TO THINK. TRUTH IS, HE LEFT IN PROTEST TO YOUR TREATMENT OF WOMEN! (TAKES A SWIG FROM A FLASK)

{***JON***}
WHAT?! WAIT A MINUTE WHAT WAS THAT?

{***JESSICA***}
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF HUH? (TAUNTING) DO I MAKE YOU NERVOUS, JON?

{***JON***}
(NERVOUS) OF COURSE NOT. WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME NERVOUS?

{***JESSICA***}
I DON’T KNOW. MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE SCARED ONE DAY A WOMAN MAY BE SITTING WHERE YOU SIT. MAYBE A PROUD IRISH WOMAN –WHOSE ANCESTORS STRUGGLED FROM THE DEPTHS OF IRISH SLAVERY, LONG BEFORE THE BLACKS CAME ALONG, WITH THE HOPE THAT MAYBE, ONE DAY, WE WOULD BE TREATED EQUALLY. AND, 550 YEARS LATER, HAVE WE EVER SAID A WORD IN PROTEST AS TO THE ATROCITIES COMMITTED AGAINST US? (TAKES A SWIG)

{***JON***}
ATROCITIES?! WHAT ATROCITIES? ARE YOU CARRYING A FLASK?

{***JESSICA***}
HOW QUICKLY WE FORGET. DID YOU KNOW OKLAHOMA WAS ORIGINALLY SETTLED BY THE IRISH.

{***JON***}
IT WAS?

{***JESSICA***}
THAT’S RIGHT. DID YOU KNOW UP UNTIL 1950 IT WAS SPELLED LIKE THIS: (OS: “O’ KLAHOMA) BUT IT WAS TOO IRISH-LOOKING SO THEY CHANGED IT.

{***JON***}
WOW.

{***JESSICA***}
IT’S CALLED EDUCATION, JON TRY IT SOME TIME. AND THE BIGGEST FAST FOOD CHAIN IN THE WORLD … (OS: “MICK O’ DONALDS”) THAT’S HOW IT STARTED. AND WHO CAN FORGET THE DEGREDATION AND HUMILIATION OF OUR WORST NATIONAL TRAGEDY, THE IRISH POTATO FAMINE. YOUR PEOPLE TOOK IT AND MADE IT A LAUGHING STOCK.

(OS: MR POTATO HEAD)

{***JON***}
I’M SORRY. I HAD NO IDEA. I LOVE MR. POTATO HEAD.

{***JESSICA***}
EXACTLY. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF WE HAD “MR. HOLOCAUST HEAD” IN IRELAND?

{***JON***}
POINT TAKEN.

{***JESSICA***}
YOU DISGUST ME, JON. I NEED A GUINNESS. (DROPS MIC AND EXITS)

{***JON***}
UH, THANK YOU JESSICA. JESSICA WILLIAMS, EVERYONE.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.