If We Were Keeping Score, Would Al-Qaeda Be Winning?

If the War on Terror was a baseball game, what inning would it be? Maybe, around the top of the seventh. The score? Probably, 10-8 in their favor.

Here's how it breaks down:

Opening Day Sept. 11, 2001.

Top of the First:
Al Qaeda hits a grand slam to open the game. Immediate meeting on the mound. Pitcher says he's fine. They just made him mad.
4-0

Bottom of the First:
We're shocked by the fact they rocked our pitcher in the first inning, but, in true form, we answer right back. A flurry of singles and stolen bases in the bottom of the inning displace the Taliban from their stronghold in Afghanistan and sends Bin Laden on the run.
4-1

Top of the Second:
With two men on, they pinch hit with a shoe-bomber and a he lines one up the middle, scoring two and causing airport screenings to be changed forever.
6-1

Bottom of the Second:
Bin Laden's reportedly somewhere in the stadium, but security can't find him. Meanwhile, they strike out the side, as the cost of the war - in both dollars and lives - begins to take its toll.
6-1

Top of the Third:
They rejoice at home plate, as our now considerably-rattled pitcher and catcher screw up a senseless pick-off play they'll be talking about for years: We accuse Saddam Hussein of having weapons of mass destruction, and don't want to let him get to second base. Everyone at home knows Saddam is too slow to steal second, nonetheless, the catcher, forgetting the real danger at third, calls for the pick-off, anyway, and the pitcher throws wild - sending the ball into the stands and the runner from third, home. (On the very next play, Saddam would be hit in the head by the pitcher - in yet another pick-off attempt - and taken out of the game.)
7-1

Bottom of the Third:
Our pitcher mistakenly thinks the end of the second inning is the end of the game, and declares victory. His teammates tell him it's not the end, and we're losing. In spite of that blunder, we manage to score a pair of hard-earned, diplomatic runs, by sending drones into Pakistan and turning the once anti-U.S. nation into an ally.
7-3

Top of the Fourth:
Al-Qaeda sneakily pulls a squeeze play and kills fifty-two in London while injuring seven hundred more. That's it. Meeting on the mound. You can tell our pitcher's tired. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, we bring in a new, hotshot, rookie pitcher -and catcher, as well. They quickly get us out of the inning.
8-3

Bottom of the Fourth:
We open the frame by banning torture and hit a line drive over the right field wall.
8-4

Top of the Fifth:
Al-Qaeda answers our switch by calling on a slugger from their triple-A team in Uganda. He hits the first pitch he sees over the center field fence, leaving seventy-four dead, and as many injured, at the World Cup in Kampala.
9-4

Bottom of the Fifth:
We load the bases with nobody out, yet, sadly, fail to score. But, our new pitcher has given us revitalized life. The crowd can sense a renewed feeling of hope.
9-4

Top of the Sixth:
It's been years since 9/11 and Bin Laden is still stealing signals from the dugout. This rattles our once-steady pitcher, as he loads the bases and walks in a run. The crowd boos. They want him gone, too.
10-4

Bottom of the Sixth:
With two outs, and the bases loaded, we leave the young, stud pitcher in to hit for himself. You can almost hear every fan at home screaming into their T.V.'s. It's a seemingly ridiculous move even the announcers are questioning. No one can really be sure who's in that house in Pakistan. There could be women, children, no one, etc. But, with two strikes on him, the lanky, humble pitcher from Hawaii, changes the course of history and rockets one into the upper deck that would still be going had it not hit the lights. Grand slam. The place goes bonkers.
10-8

Top of the Seventh:
After their manager is thrown out of the game, Al-Qaeda comes to bat looking nothing like they did the previous six innings, and they go down in order.
10-8

Time for a commercial.

That's where it stands at the moment. No doubt, a real nail-biter.

If and when the troops finally leave Afghanistan, it will be the seventh inning stretch. God only knows what the top of the eighth has in store. But, we have a pretty good bullpen.